Improving Relationships: The Law of Attraction is Only a First Step
Proponents of the Law of Attraction often make it sound like it’s the answer to any problem you may have. While I do agree based on my own experiences that you can effect changes in your life that way - it is only part of the solution.
One example is in the matter of relationships.
Let’s say you want to improve your relationship with your husband or wife. You might feel you are in a good relationship, and want it to just get better. Or you might be feeling very negative right now about the other person. Don’t think that all you have to do is use the law of attraction to get the other person to change. If you really want to bring about long-term improvements, you need to also change yourself.
So let’s list the steps to take to improve a relationship. (Of course, this isn’t meant to take the place of other actions you might have to take in some circumstances, such as abusive relationships.)
- First, you must decide that you want to improve the relationship.
- Second, set aside any negative feelings you might have about the other person.
This might require waiting until a point in time when things are going well, or when you aren’t in the middle of the throes of resentment.
- Third, reflect on the positive qualities of the other person, particularly those things that make you feel good.
It might be those qualities that attracted you to the person to begin with. Or it might be qualities that you enjoy now, but that you want to experience more of. To help focus on these qualities, you can even write them down.
Spend a little time each day to reflect on these, and to actually feel gratitude for those good things that you experience with the other person.
Pay attention to small changes, as any improvement is a step in the right direction and paves the way for more improvement later on.
I can attest to the fact that this does work, and I’ve had tremendous success with this in my own relationships. This includes not only my relationship with my wife, but also with my children. It’s even been a little uncanny how quickly things can change.
But once you find that the other person is more approachable, more agreeable, or however you wanted “them” to be, you may discover that there is still the issue of yourself. You may find that there are times when you aren’t in the mood for others to be pleasant. Now they are suddenly being as you wanted, but it’s not “at the right time”. Then what?
It would not be reasonable to think that it is just the other person who is responsible for any relationship issues. This is an opportunity to examine your own place in the relationship, and take ownership of what you bring to the table. This is the perfect time to see what you need to do to improve, as it will be hitting you in the face. Don’t run away from it. After all, you have attracted this situation to yourself. If your sincere goal was to improve your relationships, then this is in line with that goal.
You used the law of attraction to attract positive qualities in the other person. If you still find yourself with negative feelings, then know that they are coming from yourself. Why are you feeling that way? It may have been easy to blame others, but that often times just hid areas that needed to be examined. There is no reason to blame the other person now, so all that is left is yourself.
This is where the real work begins, a work that is well worth the effort. The law of attraction is only a tool - it is not a cure all for any situation. The real cure requires some self work to change your own outlook, and to that end the law of attraction can be an invaluable tool.
(This article is featured in the Evolving Times: Law of Attraction Carnival #18.)
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[...] And we’ve got a first time contributor to the LoA Carnival, Chris Campa of The Ordinary Mystic who reminds us that in Improving Relationships The Law of Attraction is Only the First Step. [...]
In my own opinion we can solve any problem if we all think positive, Including business, relationship, work. because positive thinking will create positive energy. while negative thinking will create negative energy.
With positive thinking we will open our mind with anything. wiling to discuss, respect others and avoid hate. because in our mind people will do good to you.
Recently, I read a free report - An Interview with Bob Proctor on Science Of Getting Rich.
I like to share this with you.
“www.attractionlawprinciple.com/rights/attractionaccelerator.pdf”
A very thoughtful post.Best wishes.
Thanks. This is a situation I’ve encountered and am still learning from.
[...] 1) The Ordinary Mystic - In his post Improving Relationships: The Law of Attraction is Only a First Step, Chris does a great job of putting the responsibility for relationship success squarely upon the attracting individual - You! [...]
I agree, the law of attraction is not a cure all. It is a step in the right direction. If you really want your relationship to be better, then by focusing on what you want, you will make changes within yourself to attract what you want. Very true that one must take responsbility in a relationship, it is very rarely ever one sided! Very good article!
You can definitely use the law of attraction to help work on yourself. That’s the best use of it!
Thanks for the comment.
This article is good for us, the desire and commitment has to come from within you. Once you have the desire you have to have the knowledge, so if we start wit posistive atitude toward our husband or wife, certainly we will get the same respect from him or her.
To your success
B.D.
http://www.yourgettingsmartforever.com
I really want to endorse the things you are teaching. The Law of Attraction radically changed my life when I was introduced to it by the amazing Bob Proctor a little over 18 months ago.
I was a struggling entrepreneur, financially broke and emotionally at the end of the line. Bob Proctor taught me the law of attraction and showed me how to massively alter the direction of my life.
I went from broke to a millionaire in just 6 months!
It was an amazing ride!
I tell how it worked for me on my site at http://lassothemoon.blogspot.com/
The law of attraction, I believe works hand-in-hand with the law of gratitude. This is my story and my life-changing lesson of gratitude.
One day I was teaching a weekend college course on business start-up. The elevator was broken, so I had to lug my dolley of 4 boxes, by hand, up three flights of stairs. I was outside, and it was a little hot and sunny, but not unbearably unpleasant. I began to complain and grumble about how the school should have the elevators working and so on and so forth. I was angry that I had to go through all of this trouble to get to the top of the stairs.
Then, just as I reached to the top of the stairs, a young man, a quadriplegic, in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the neck down, operating his chair with just the slight movements of his bent-to-the-side neck, saw me and with a big, beautiful smile said to me, “Nice day, isn’t it.†I was stunned with embarrassment. Here I was moaning and groaning with all of my faculties and in perfect health, and here is a young man paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair telling me how pleasant a day it was. From that life-changing moment to this day, I have never complained about any physical labor again. “Only by the grace of God there go I.â€
The Secret movie was an awesome example of how the law of attraction can summon the universal powers to manifest people situations and material things into your life.
All of the presenters had compelling stories that described in detail how their lives changed once they applied the secret principals.
I watched the movie several times only to discover the secret was never revealed nor did they explain how to actually make the law of attraction work in your favor.
I searched for a year and finally discovered exactly how the secret law of attraction works.
Anybody can put the principals to work for them and change their life dramatically in a short period of time.
It’s true, they are laws and they work all the time but its your choice to make them work for you and not against you.
I couldn’t agree with you more. Part of optimizing how well the law of attraction works is being able to love ourselves first before we can properly use the LOA to have a great relationship and taking a closer look at what is programmed into our subconscious mind. I wrote a bit about it if anyone wants to check it out:
http://lovelifeandthelawofattraction.blogspot.com/
I think this is a very important thing. This blog post is very interesting and very well done. Thank you very much, I appreciate it!
Jim
YourVisionStatement.com